Future Post Found: GOP Angry at Trump

NOTE:  Wordpress sometimes acts funny with drafts, and today they apparently had problems with the space-time continuum and I found a draft of a post from August 12, 2016 in my draft box.  I found it a bit surprising:

trump

(From the future – August 12, 2016)

Republican insiders are furious with Donald Trump, as on Tuesday he came out endorsing a single payer health care system, arguing that Hillary Clinton’s endorsement of Obamacare was not enough to maintain the integrity of the system.  “Look,” Trump said, “I’m a business man, I know how to make the books work.  Our health system is in crisis, Obamacare was a milquetoast plan that simply lined the pocketbooks of insurance companies.   We need an efficient single payer system.”

This is not the first time the Republican nominee for President has changed his opinion since accepting the nomination in Cleveland just under three weeks ago.  His embrace of the Paris Climate Change convention shocked people a day after he accepted the nomination.  “I know I’ve been saying that under a Trump Presidency we would no longer follow the guidelines – that the agreement has not been ratified by the Senate and thus is not the law of the land.  However, after extensive discussions with scientists, I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem is real and we have to do something NOW.”

At that point Ted Cruz, who finished second in the GOP balloting, lashed out at Trump as a “liar and a con man, who just duped the Republican party and half the country.”  Trump shrugged it off, “a leader needs to be able to change his mind when it’s right, and not be stuck with dogma.”

Then on August 2, 2016 Trump met with Muslim-American leaders and came out saying that was “amazed at the beauty and depth of the Islamic faith,” and was convinced that ISIS is perverting it.  “I was wrong when I lumped all Muslims together,” he said, “and a Trump Presidency will not try to limit religious groups and in fact will welcome immigration from Syrian refugees trying to flee ISIS evil.”

 

hillary

“How can you people be falling for this,” Clinton said, as Trump’s poll numbers rose, this time with liberal support.

An exasperated Reince Priebus, Chair of the Republican party, said there is nothing the party can do.  “We can’t take the nomination away from him,” he said, “though these position changes are troubling.”

Hillary Clinton, fresh off a campaign stop in California, worries that Trump’s new approach is winning Democratic support.   “People,” she said, “remember what he was saying last year!  Remember when people said he sounded fascist!   I am the real thing!”   Alas, Trump’s new ad listing Clinton “changes of position” over the past few years seems to undercut her claim at authenticity.

A furious Mitch McConnell said, “it’s like two Democrats are running,” and noted that “this is what happens when you go for an outsider.  He has no real track record, he says things on the fly.   We may have trouble holding the Senate and even the House at this rate.”

For his part, Trump insists he’s still a ‘real Republican,’ but “I am a leader, I listen to people and am not afraid to shift positions if that’s what is required for success.  I promise to make America great again, and that is something all should be able to get behind.”

fiorina

Fiorina was surprised to learn that Trump was sending her to tour a planned parenthood clinic to find out “the real story.”

Redstate’s Erick Erickson could not conceal his rage, saying the Trump has been a “liberal plant” all along, and that conservatives should refuse to vote for the Presidency and instead focus on down ticket races.  “Maybe it’s time for a revolution,” he hissed, “this is over the top.”

Marco Rubio’s legal team is looking into the laws governing the electoral college.  “Most electors are good Republicans,” he noted, “and may be willing to vote against Trump if he doesn’t make clear he’s standing by the principles he enunciated in Cleveland.  Even if state law holds the electors to their candidates, there is a loophole – they could vote Trump Vice President and Fiorina President.”

Vice Presidential candidate Carly Fiorina brushed off questions about the electoral college or Trump’s shift on hot button issues.  “He’s the candidate, I know how to read an organizational chart,” she said grimly.

Political Scientist James Melcher of the University of Maine at Farmington was asked by CNN’s Wolf Blitzer what we should make of all this.  “This is uncharted territory,” the esteemed political oracle noted.  “Never has a candidate been so less beholden to a party.  He doesn’t care.”   Blitzer pressed, “Do we have any idea what a Trump Presidency would look like?”

“No, Wolf,” Melcher replied, “what he says today has no apparent relation to what he’ll say or do tomorrow.”

Trump supporter Janelle Cox of Michigan was upbeat, saying her support was unwavering, no matter what he does or say.  “It’s the Donald,” she said, “we love him.  We trust him.  He’s sort like family, like the big brother I never had.  And I love big brother!”

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  1. #1 by lbwoodgate on December 12, 2015 - 16:33

    We must call you the good humor man Scott. 🙂

  2. #2 by List of X on December 12, 2015 - 19:55

    That’ll probably be pretty accurate, except for one minor detail – Trump will never admit he was wrong. 🙂

  3. #3 by Zepp Jamieson on December 14, 2015 - 11:21

    I find that an entirely plausible scenario, but before people embrace the New Donald (the last “new” guy we had running was in 1968, and that didn’t work out so well) remember that while his stances may change, his level of sincerity–and sanity–will have not.

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