We Demand Our Snow!

A few people have posted that they dislike Washington DC taking their tax dollars for things like social welfare programs or health care.    However, the Obama Administration has reached a new level of federal intervention that quite frankly has me angry and alarmed.

Apparently, this administration has figured out how to control weather, and has diverted snow from Maine down to the District of Columbia.   This has hurt ski resorts, snow mobilers (and the businesses which serve them), and the entire winter tourism industry.   Luckily it’s cold enough that the snow we have is sticking — and our local ski mountain remains in decent condition (icy in spots, but overall good).   Still, the total blanket of snow on the ground is on average only a few inches.   In the last three years we’ve gotten over 100 of inches of snow each year, with mounds of snow piled high.

Dirty snow in other years would soon be covered with clean snow; now there are huge chunks of ugly dirty snow on the edges of roads and sidewalks.   Sledding is very difficult, and if the temperature should climb above freezing, we’d risk a premature spring.   Some would welcome that, but most of us love our winter!

The alarming aspect of this is the fact that this shows that the Obama Administration now has control of the weather.   It is unclear why it is being diverted to DC.  Is it an effort to punish Collins and Snow for their refusal to back health care reform?   Or is geopolitics involved?

It could be that since most foreign embassies are located in Washington, this is a way to show the ambassadors and their staff the power at the finger tips of the Administration.   Sure, Iraq and Afghanistan have made our military might seem a bit tarnished, but hey — what would Beijing do if buried in snow?   Floods to Iran, and perhaps an opium-killing drought to Afghanistan?

I suspect that the technology to create ICWDs (Inter-contintenal Weather Devices) is still under development.   Or, perhaps worrying about various international treaties, the Obama Administration hopes that simply demonstrating the power will be enough to get other countries to change their behavior.  Look, our economy is shot, our military power appears useless in shaping world events, and our nuclear weapons are defensive.   Countries really have no reason to worry about what the US wants.   China, in fact, knows that if it dumps dollars and US bonds our currency could collapse — they have us by the economic short hairs.   It appeared to all that the US is the second superpower to bite the dust in two decades.   Until now.   Now that we have weather control.

This would all be well and good if the Obama Administration could be trusted to use it wisely.   However, by depriving northern New England of needed snow, it shows a both a lack of judgment and a limit to the efficacy of the device.   The lack of judgment is to punish two “blue” states by denying them a good winter.   I suspect this was not the intent.   The soft bureaucratic pansies on the Potomac probably think nobody likes snow, and believed they were doing us a favor.  This is an example of what Friedrich Hayek meant about the danger of centralized planning and the need for diffuse knowledge!    And if they meant to punish Collins and Snowe for not supporting health care reform, with this you can forget about Olympia.   She takes it personally when Maine is denied its snow(e).

This also demonstrates troubling unintended consequences.  To cause a drought in one place, you need to send the rain someplace else.    Now, flooding Tehran to dry up opium fields in Afghanistan may be feasible, but what would it do to Mongolia, a country we have good relations with, if we sent their winter to Beijing?    A bureaucrat, a member of that effete corps of impudent snobs, may think Thailand won’t miss some of its monsoon rains to flood parts of Burma, but it might actually deny rice to a whole section of the country.  A pusillanimous pussyfooter might decide to send Darfur drought to other parts of Sudan to punish the regime, and thereby ignite new civil wars and perhaps an energy crisis if oil production is cut.

So while I appreciate that this might save our superpower status, the implications of its use are dangerous.  Washington DC needs to stop stealing our snow, and let us have a winter again!   We don’t need ski lifts on Capitol Hill.   Fine, develop ICWDs as a deterrent to, say, China causing our currency to collapse and render us the equivalent of a third world state.   It would be a bummer if they did that.   But tell the hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history, those nattering nabobs of negativity, elite pencil pushers who can’t park their bikes to STOP STEALING OUR SNOW!   You don’t need it.  You’ve had your snow storm.  I’ve been in many of them and to some extent I would have to say this; if you’ve seen one snow storm you’ve seen them all.

  1. #1 by Scott Erb on February 9, 2010 - 12:15

    How many Spiro Agnew references can anyone find?

  2. #2 by Mike Lovell on February 9, 2010 - 14:52

    While I don’t know enough of Agnew to comment on your question, I do have a retort and some solutions for you.

    First, they claim HARP and other like devices can already be used to change weather patterns…at least thats what I have goten out of snippets of listening to Coast to Coast with Geoerge Norry on those lonely nights at work when the music is sucking.

    As for a solution, here you go. Here in the midwest we have been socked with snow. More still to come. What you need to do is either get a train, or a lot of trucks, open up your business and come out here and transport the snow back. We have more than enough to share with you, without affecting skiers, snow boarders, snowmobilers and the like. In fact in the cities, we have run out of room in some places and in others are dangerously close to running out, to push the snow out of traffic lanes, parking lots and driveways. I’m sure if you bring a fleet to make this happen, the cities and counties will charge you very little (and in some cases pay you because its cheaper to do that than dig into other budget items to pay for the removal). then you take it back to Maine, sell it to businesses, and maybe some government entities which WANT the stuff to increase their touristy image (or build one at all in some cases), and make yourself a decent little profit. Hell, make me partner and I’ll help direct the operations in my area for a relatively cheap salary.

    BTW- love the sarcasm!

    • #3 by Scott Erb on February 11, 2010 - 03:37

      Well, that didn’t get off the ground. I guess letting people know I wanted to sell “snow” alerts various law enforcement agencies that didn’t believe the details of my plan. When I started screaming at them about the weather control issue, they locked me away until my wife could come and convince them that I’m just a nutty professor.

      • #4 by Mike Lovell on February 11, 2010 - 16:15

        “they locked me away until my wife could come and convince them that I’m just a nutty professor.”

        I figured your community was small enough that they were all well aware of your nutty professorness reputation….maybe you should’ve been wearing a twed jacket and puffing on a big tobacco pipe. Unlike Superman you have to take off apparel to go into disguise!

  3. #5 by classicliberal2 on February 9, 2010 - 21:42

    LOL! Fantastic!

    Forget Agnew; this is a perfect parody of contemporary conservative rhetoric. For a real-life example, offered without a hint of parody, I’d direct you to John Boehner’s straight-faced response to Obama’s call for a health-care summit with Republicans, to be broadcast on television. After taking a thrashing from Obama at that Republican retreat, party leaders talked quite loudly about wanting a rematch, and that’s exactly what Obama has offered. Their immediate response was to write an insulting letter outlining conditions for their participation that Obama doesn’t even have it in his power to grant:

    –Drop everything in the current bills and start over.

    –Drop the idea of passing a bill with only Democratic votes.

    –Drop any effort to pass anything via reconciliation.

    And so on.

  4. #6 by notesalongthepath on February 13, 2010 - 03:39

    I saw on Fox News that they were blaming the president for the snow problems, but I thought it was just Fox News. Now that I’ve seen it here, I fully intend to write the president and my representatives, telling them NOT to mess with Mother Nature.

  5. #7 by Nathaniel Burns on February 17, 2010 - 14:17

    I have heard some of the same conspiracy theories as Mike Lovell. Namely that the HAARP (http://www.haarp.alaska.edu/) large antenna array can actually influence the direction that weather systems move. Now it seems highly unlikely that the U.S. would be moving their own weather south. However Russia and China both have these same types of massive antenna arrays. The postulate that I have heard is that there is actually a weather cold war happening right now. Regardless of whether this is happening, the HAARP project is a very interesting structure that is shrouded in secrecy. However another explanation that I have heard (that may be more likely than weather control) is that arrays like this are used to generate super low frequencies to penetrate the ocean to communicate with submarines.

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